Would it be great if you could erase all the negative habits that your spouse or partner has? Is it possible? Would you love them anymore if they did not shake their legs as they watch TV, or leave shoes all over the house, leave the kitchen tap dripping. Would they approve of you more if you were not the nagging kind, if you got dressed well really quick, if you liked action films and found sports channels stimulating, if you liked last minute plans and change of minds?
Do we as humans strive for perfection? And is perfection in relationships directly linked to similarity? Would you like to be with a twin who understands or an opposite who challenges your thought processes?
Is perfection somewhere between the two? A mix of a similar spirit but a different mind. A person who knows what you are saying, and why, but does not necessarily agree with you every time? Would not constant agreement bring boredom? And would not constant arguing break peace and cause stress? What is the solution? Space to be different? But then space comes with all sorts of issues of its own about boundaries and timings, and individuality and often selfishness.
Middle paths are always a prescribed solution to all situations and problems. But they are pretty hard to find and follow. And sometimes 50-50 is not equivalent to 100 % happiness.
So where do we stand. Do we like being around people who are not like us, annoy us sometimes, make us smile sometimes, but also make us realize that we are not too perfect ourself. I guess no one is.
Showing posts with label Problems. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Problems. Show all posts
Friday, August 10, 2007
Saturday, June 23, 2007
Thinking Vis-a-vis Weight Loss!
Thinking is thought to be tiring work. Physical and mental exercise burns calories. Chess players are known to have lose weight after an intensive match. Going by that - most of us, worry-pots, should be thinner than the size 0 models.
When faced with a problem, major or minor, our brain - either shuts down and says 'cant deal with THAT' or starts to work around it instantly. A few of us have the evolved ability to see a problem and put it aside and by saying, 'THAT, I will think about later', almost as if the the problem is like a book, you can read later!
The rest of us might sit down and analyze what the problem really is, and if there are multiple solutions possible, which one best to take. It is at this point that we mess up - we start discussing it with others, often hoping that they would reach the same solutional option as you! It could be anything, from the big decision of house buying to a small decision about who NOT to invite for a party at home. You might have thought it out, but when someone tells you otherwise (this some one being some one you know, respect and trust enough to seek advice/discussion) you start thinking again.
Often a problem is like an onion - you want to keep peeling it, and peeling it, to reach the core, even if it makes you cry, you keep going!! You want to solve it, resolve it, file it away to the back of your head with a Post It that says DONE! But you are smart enough to know that the simplest and quickest solution might not be the best solution! And there you go again!
Think of one problem you have right now. Any one, go on...am sure you have one..because if you don't call the Guinness Book!! Right? Got it, problem in head, think about its root causes, possible solutions you have, why which one wont work, and so what will you do about it? You have 30 mins to solve it...go!
Reached a solution? No? Think again!
And if you do keep thinking, for the next 2 hours or so, see if your clothes are getting any looser, coz weight loss does happen!
More importantly...are you any closer to solving things? If not, then you probably are one of the millions who like to worry, and genuinely worry, but are completely far far behind in solving things. You might also be one of the people others call 'worrier'...and don't worry, most mothers fit into this category too - the ability to worry, without good reason, and without a good solution!!
When faced with a problem, major or minor, our brain - either shuts down and says 'cant deal with THAT' or starts to work around it instantly. A few of us have the evolved ability to see a problem and put it aside and by saying, 'THAT, I will think about later', almost as if the the problem is like a book, you can read later!
The rest of us might sit down and analyze what the problem really is, and if there are multiple solutions possible, which one best to take. It is at this point that we mess up - we start discussing it with others, often hoping that they would reach the same solutional option as you! It could be anything, from the big decision of house buying to a small decision about who NOT to invite for a party at home. You might have thought it out, but when someone tells you otherwise (this some one being some one you know, respect and trust enough to seek advice/discussion) you start thinking again.
Often a problem is like an onion - you want to keep peeling it, and peeling it, to reach the core, even if it makes you cry, you keep going!! You want to solve it, resolve it, file it away to the back of your head with a Post It that says DONE! But you are smart enough to know that the simplest and quickest solution might not be the best solution! And there you go again!
Think of one problem you have right now. Any one, go on...am sure you have one..because if you don't call the Guinness Book!! Right? Got it, problem in head, think about its root causes, possible solutions you have, why which one wont work, and so what will you do about it? You have 30 mins to solve it...go!
Reached a solution? No? Think again!
And if you do keep thinking, for the next 2 hours or so, see if your clothes are getting any looser, coz weight loss does happen!
More importantly...are you any closer to solving things? If not, then you probably are one of the millions who like to worry, and genuinely worry, but are completely far far behind in solving things. You might also be one of the people others call 'worrier'...and don't worry, most mothers fit into this category too - the ability to worry, without good reason, and without a good solution!!
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