I love and hate this weather.
In the morning there is a barely there whiff of winter..so can smell it and then its gone..I dont know if any of you know this smell...its cold and crisp in the morning..and the leaves are starting to change colours...
This time of the year, this part of this country..gets chilly. So if you wear a jumper..you are hot. If you dont wear it you are cold. The sun comes out you are hot. The clouds come in you are cold. Its too warm to wear boots, too cold to wear sandals... in sleeveless your arms freeze, in full sleeves, your hands freeze, its too soon to wear gloves..I guess mid weather shopping needs to be done.
I hereby revoke the previous blog entry. This weekend is shopping day!
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
High maintenance woman!
Now why is it that everytime I pick a glossy and look at the whole range of products they advertise..I like the one that is the most expensive..I dont know how I do it. 20 belts..I like the Gucci one. 20 Shoes and Jimmy Choo is the best. 20 tops and Chanel comes on top. 20 bags and I like the Prada. I am not even talking about Laboutin, McQueen, Balenciaga, Valentino yet....
Is it me? or is this a common phenomenon?
Its not like I know which is what brand till I read the miniscule print under it with the brand name and the price tag! Or is this the classic example of good design speaks for itself?
And most of these magazines seem to be designed to reveal to you, how little you have, and how much you need to buy. They also constantly push, parade and argue about the whole new 'Must haves' for every month. Every month you must, simply must spend well over 1500£ to be 'with it'. Obviously there are stories about women who own 500 pairs of shoes, and 160 pairs of lingerie, and 50 handbags...I mean, yes I do get the QED bit here..
No I am not being snob here, am sure there are women and maybe even men who take all this advice well. And they maybe smart, intelligent beings as well. All I wonder is, do the people who write for these magazines feel just the tinniest weeniest silly at any point of time?
Is it me? or is this a common phenomenon?
Its not like I know which is what brand till I read the miniscule print under it with the brand name and the price tag! Or is this the classic example of good design speaks for itself?
And most of these magazines seem to be designed to reveal to you, how little you have, and how much you need to buy. They also constantly push, parade and argue about the whole new 'Must haves' for every month. Every month you must, simply must spend well over 1500£ to be 'with it'. Obviously there are stories about women who own 500 pairs of shoes, and 160 pairs of lingerie, and 50 handbags...I mean, yes I do get the QED bit here..
No I am not being snob here, am sure there are women and maybe even men who take all this advice well. And they maybe smart, intelligent beings as well. All I wonder is, do the people who write for these magazines feel just the tinniest weeniest silly at any point of time?
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Prisoners approach to world peace
Some 18-21 year old male convicts in my class decided to think about why we have wars and crime and so much violence in our lives. Primary reasons they came up with were:
- Religion.
Every single thing around us seems to be fought due to religous differences. If one of us seriously believes that the other is wrong/ bad/ evil because of his / her religion then we have a problem.
- Money.
The difference between haves and have nots and the expansion in whats available if you have the money has made people greedy and this leads to violence.
- Women.
A man might not fight for any of the above (God, or money), but he will fight for his girl/ woman.
So the bottom line after much thinking was..if there were no women to defend it would mean peace, better still it would mean not having to things for them which means no need for money. And since no women means no kids, it puts an end to faith and religion!
How is that for world peace!
- Religion.
Every single thing around us seems to be fought due to religous differences. If one of us seriously believes that the other is wrong/ bad/ evil because of his / her religion then we have a problem.
- Money.
The difference between haves and have nots and the expansion in whats available if you have the money has made people greedy and this leads to violence.
- Women.
A man might not fight for any of the above (God, or money), but he will fight for his girl/ woman.
So the bottom line after much thinking was..if there were no women to defend it would mean peace, better still it would mean not having to things for them which means no need for money. And since no women means no kids, it puts an end to faith and religion!
How is that for world peace!
Monday, August 21, 2006
I suggest a week
Instead of 5 working days and then two holidays together..which means that fri you are too tired to plan sat, and sat goes by too quick and if you are like me then sat night i start feeling :( sun-day goes slow but sunday evening goes quick!!
And before you know it the alarm is ringing to wake you up to yet another week!!
This is how I think it should be
Sunday - Monday - tuesday - (after 2 days of work comes weekend) so..Saturday - wednesday - Thursday - Friday.
Perfect! work two days, rest for one. Work 3 days rest for one..and fridays are good days anyways! Which means the equivalent of 2 fridy nights in a week, so you can sleep and party till late coz its a day off the next day :)
The idea of an endless week that DRAGS and a weekend that does anything but. Is depressing..maybe I should think about not working...just be at home..relax, paint my nails, brush my hair, go for walks, shop around, sleep till late...and do...Nothing..zilch, zero...nothing...ahhh!! Sounds good to tired old me!
I think I shall need a RICH husband to be able to do that..but then he shall tell me what to do and what not to...
Naaaah! I shall stick to hoping that some where some one shall accept my new week and the world shall be a happier place.
NB. As you can probably see I am a too tired to make sense.
And before you know it the alarm is ringing to wake you up to yet another week!!
This is how I think it should be
Sunday - Monday - tuesday - (after 2 days of work comes weekend) so..Saturday - wednesday - Thursday - Friday.
Perfect! work two days, rest for one. Work 3 days rest for one..and fridays are good days anyways! Which means the equivalent of 2 fridy nights in a week, so you can sleep and party till late coz its a day off the next day :)
The idea of an endless week that DRAGS and a weekend that does anything but. Is depressing..maybe I should think about not working...just be at home..relax, paint my nails, brush my hair, go for walks, shop around, sleep till late...and do...Nothing..zilch, zero...nothing...ahhh!! Sounds good to tired old me!
I think I shall need a RICH husband to be able to do that..but then he shall tell me what to do and what not to...
Naaaah! I shall stick to hoping that some where some one shall accept my new week and the world shall be a happier place.
NB. As you can probably see I am a too tired to make sense.
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Wise Woman's Wisdom
As I sat on the train back from Edinburgh to Leicester I saw 3 old women and 1 old man, climb in. They came and sat right next to me. The train journey is long, takes about 5 hours from Edinburgh to where I live. Longer for them as they were heading to Bournemouth, which is on the other end of the country.
The train moved and I could make out the 3 old women were good friends. The man was married to one of them. The old couple cosied up and sat down, I could see a level of warmth, concern and love between the two. He wiped her mouth when she finished a croissant, passed her the Review section of the newspaper without asking. She gave him a pen to do the crossword, when he turned the page to reach it. It was interesting.
Nosy that I am, I was staring!
The couple sat and read, the other two women got bags out. One of them was knitting a jumper, the other was making some strange looking green, fabric triangles with a needle and thread. The average age between them would have been 80-85 yrs I guess.
Getting a bit curious, I asked the old woman with the stars, what she was making, coz it looked quite interesting. That was it, she put aside and a most interesting conersation started.
She told me her name - Pat and introduced her friends, they have lived near each other all their lives and have been friends since childhood. She was making stars for the Christmas tree. She asked me where I was going and what I do, etc. After a while came the question about marriage and children, as is typical. And my luck!
She spoke slowly about life with her husband, how it was simple and straight forward. How we young people want everything..careers, family, supportive spouses, close relationships, good friends, lack of boredom, exciting holidays, amazing gifts..and the list goes on. She said we also spend a lot of time wondering and thinking 'what Ifs' which is a waste of time. Her mantra was..if you think you will be happy and you are true to yourself and to the relationship, any relationship would work. She said, things change, life moves quickly, marriage, children, jobs, locations are all a part of life and things we should learn to tackle anyways. You have to commit and not change decisions and never look back.
She went on and on about philosophy, about life, God, husbands, grand children. And I could see one thing, which she admitted herself, she had lead a long fulfilled life. She said her life had been tough, with wars and depression and uncertainity. But it was a complete one..she had ups and downs, but she had seen a lot and now was proud she got through all of it. And wished me the same. She said...
'Somewhere some special young man awaits you, you could lead a perfect life like I have, see things for what they are and look ahead, don't delay and start living! Have friends, built a home, have children and smile every day!'
As she said this I was asked her where she hid the crystal ball. Pat laughed aloud and shook all over..and so did her friends...they said..she says this to everyone she meets and managed to surprise everyone with this straight fortune telling statement..but really..a broad generalisation like this could be applicable to everyone and anyone..who is single..as is, in most cases, obvious from a lack of a ring!
It was one surreal experience for me. I must say spending a journey with someone this interesting yet predicatble was amusing. Wisdom from a wise old lady with needles and yarn!
The train moved and I could make out the 3 old women were good friends. The man was married to one of them. The old couple cosied up and sat down, I could see a level of warmth, concern and love between the two. He wiped her mouth when she finished a croissant, passed her the Review section of the newspaper without asking. She gave him a pen to do the crossword, when he turned the page to reach it. It was interesting.
Nosy that I am, I was staring!
The couple sat and read, the other two women got bags out. One of them was knitting a jumper, the other was making some strange looking green, fabric triangles with a needle and thread. The average age between them would have been 80-85 yrs I guess.
Getting a bit curious, I asked the old woman with the stars, what she was making, coz it looked quite interesting. That was it, she put aside and a most interesting conersation started.
She told me her name - Pat and introduced her friends, they have lived near each other all their lives and have been friends since childhood. She was making stars for the Christmas tree. She asked me where I was going and what I do, etc. After a while came the question about marriage and children, as is typical. And my luck!
She spoke slowly about life with her husband, how it was simple and straight forward. How we young people want everything..careers, family, supportive spouses, close relationships, good friends, lack of boredom, exciting holidays, amazing gifts..and the list goes on. She said we also spend a lot of time wondering and thinking 'what Ifs' which is a waste of time. Her mantra was..if you think you will be happy and you are true to yourself and to the relationship, any relationship would work. She said, things change, life moves quickly, marriage, children, jobs, locations are all a part of life and things we should learn to tackle anyways. You have to commit and not change decisions and never look back.
She went on and on about philosophy, about life, God, husbands, grand children. And I could see one thing, which she admitted herself, she had lead a long fulfilled life. She said her life had been tough, with wars and depression and uncertainity. But it was a complete one..she had ups and downs, but she had seen a lot and now was proud she got through all of it. And wished me the same. She said...
'Somewhere some special young man awaits you, you could lead a perfect life like I have, see things for what they are and look ahead, don't delay and start living! Have friends, built a home, have children and smile every day!'
As she said this I was asked her where she hid the crystal ball. Pat laughed aloud and shook all over..and so did her friends...they said..she says this to everyone she meets and managed to surprise everyone with this straight fortune telling statement..but really..a broad generalisation like this could be applicable to everyone and anyone..who is single..as is, in most cases, obvious from a lack of a ring!
It was one surreal experience for me. I must say spending a journey with someone this interesting yet predicatble was amusing. Wisdom from a wise old lady with needles and yarn!
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
Free and Independent..
As India celebrates yet another Independence Day I do wonder what it means to me..does it mean anything? I mean, am I happy that we are Independent? Are we really independent in every sense of the word?
To most people who were born in free India, 15 August is a holiday. One day that everyone gets off from work. One day when we bring out the flags and wave them, and then put them away till February approaches, when we bring them out for Republic Day celebrations.
To people who watched freedom being granted, like my grandad, it meant something more. He used to listen to the Prime Ministers speech from the Red Fort. He used to stand up, despite his really bad knees, for the National Anthem. For him independence came at a high price. In leaving Lahore, where many generations of my family had lived, he lost more than just property and wealth. He lost frieds, he lost his ability to move amongst a mutli religous group of people, and his roots, his culture which was steeped in Urdu poetry and walks around Lahore, family traditions which had been kept in place at the Haveli he lived in, he never thought we would not go back to his house, his friends. The finality of the Partition and Independence that came along with it, was something that took many people, a long time to get used to. He had to redefine his own identity. The price of freedom was high.
For me, a free India defines identity for me. Yes we have progressed and moved ahead in many many, many ways. Yes we have now a definition of whats Indian and whats not. yes we as a nation have made the rest of the world sit up and take notice.
India is homeland, its the country where I walk in with a passport and sail past immigration. Hindi is the language I speak. Freedom to make choices is something that cost us a lot, personally and as a nation. Yet at times, when I watch whats happening in India..politically, economically and socially...I do wonder if we forget at times, that we became free to be able to self determine our futures.
Tagore wrote a poem, Where the Mind is Without Fear, which I learnt in school, but which means a lot more every time I go to India. And now I think, his work, is still being ambitious. For a lot of us, freedom has arrived, for many more people freedom was something that came and went. A country of paradoxes, of extremes, of every possibility being likely is how I see India. For every poor person, a ridiculously rich one, for every illiterate - well educated qualified one, for every nice person - a terrible counterpart, for eery hovel, jhuggi and shack - a large mansion with the landscaped garden.
There are indignities, unhappiness, disappoinments on a daily basis. But..but we have, well, some of us have moved on to say, yes we can make a change,no we wont accept anything that is given to us, yes we shall question decisions and issues, we have rights and we shall use them. Some of us have stopped blaming the 'system' and looked inwards. That is something I am proud of.
I know I cant change everything, no one can. But I am glad to see that there are a lot more people who think the same way and make a difference in which ever way possible, a difference to a person, a community, a location or a concept. We are redefining things..and I think, though we have not awoken to Tagores aims in totality, I think we are awake enough to know where we are going, and make our own paths.
Happy Independence Day to all Indians, lets keep at it, and keep going. And someday this poem might come true in totality.
Where The Mind is Without Fear
Rabindra Nath Tagore
Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high
Where knowledge is free
Where the world has not been broken up into fragments
By narrow domestic walls
Where words come out from the depth of truth
Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection
Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way
Into the dreary desert sand of dead habit
Where the mind is led forward by thee
Into ever-widening thought and action
Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake
from Rabindra Nath Tagore's Geetanjali
To most people who were born in free India, 15 August is a holiday. One day that everyone gets off from work. One day when we bring out the flags and wave them, and then put them away till February approaches, when we bring them out for Republic Day celebrations.
To people who watched freedom being granted, like my grandad, it meant something more. He used to listen to the Prime Ministers speech from the Red Fort. He used to stand up, despite his really bad knees, for the National Anthem. For him independence came at a high price. In leaving Lahore, where many generations of my family had lived, he lost more than just property and wealth. He lost frieds, he lost his ability to move amongst a mutli religous group of people, and his roots, his culture which was steeped in Urdu poetry and walks around Lahore, family traditions which had been kept in place at the Haveli he lived in, he never thought we would not go back to his house, his friends. The finality of the Partition and Independence that came along with it, was something that took many people, a long time to get used to. He had to redefine his own identity. The price of freedom was high.
For me, a free India defines identity for me. Yes we have progressed and moved ahead in many many, many ways. Yes we have now a definition of whats Indian and whats not. yes we as a nation have made the rest of the world sit up and take notice.
India is homeland, its the country where I walk in with a passport and sail past immigration. Hindi is the language I speak. Freedom to make choices is something that cost us a lot, personally and as a nation. Yet at times, when I watch whats happening in India..politically, economically and socially...I do wonder if we forget at times, that we became free to be able to self determine our futures.
Tagore wrote a poem, Where the Mind is Without Fear, which I learnt in school, but which means a lot more every time I go to India. And now I think, his work, is still being ambitious. For a lot of us, freedom has arrived, for many more people freedom was something that came and went. A country of paradoxes, of extremes, of every possibility being likely is how I see India. For every poor person, a ridiculously rich one, for every illiterate - well educated qualified one, for every nice person - a terrible counterpart, for eery hovel, jhuggi and shack - a large mansion with the landscaped garden.
There are indignities, unhappiness, disappoinments on a daily basis. But..but we have, well, some of us have moved on to say, yes we can make a change,no we wont accept anything that is given to us, yes we shall question decisions and issues, we have rights and we shall use them. Some of us have stopped blaming the 'system' and looked inwards. That is something I am proud of.
I know I cant change everything, no one can. But I am glad to see that there are a lot more people who think the same way and make a difference in which ever way possible, a difference to a person, a community, a location or a concept. We are redefining things..and I think, though we have not awoken to Tagores aims in totality, I think we are awake enough to know where we are going, and make our own paths.
Happy Independence Day to all Indians, lets keep at it, and keep going. And someday this poem might come true in totality.
Where The Mind is Without Fear
Rabindra Nath Tagore
Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high
Where knowledge is free
Where the world has not been broken up into fragments
By narrow domestic walls
Where words come out from the depth of truth
Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection
Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way
Into the dreary desert sand of dead habit
Where the mind is led forward by thee
Into ever-widening thought and action
Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake
from Rabindra Nath Tagore's Geetanjali
Monday, August 07, 2006
Kid Karma
I dont know what it is about me. I dont dislike children, in fact I think most of them are cute..as long as they dont open their mouths! Yes! I am from the 'child should be seen not heard' school of thought. And I absolutely detest those pesky little things that cry and whinge and grizzle and howl. What I detest more are the parents who dont mind the fact that their child is single handedly giving the public in 100 metres space of it..a splitting headache.
Every time I travel, and I do travel a lot..I have some child who shall either talk, sing, hum or howl through the journey, its almost as if they have a 'GOTCHA!! You cant escape from me in this train/plane/bus' ARGH!
So heading to India I had this child behind me who was 'so lucky because all these aeroplanes are here today in one place'..and he kept saying that again and again and again...and again. It was Heathrow Airport! Mum ofcourse was not keen to let the child know that it has not much to do with luck..but any place with too many airplanes is called an AIRPORT! After that the child was plain lucky to be able to go to India..also asked when they shall get there about every 20 mins in a 8 hour flight!!
AAARGH!!
Yesterday as I boarded the plane I was relieved to see only 3 children in the boarding lounge..two of those were travelling business class..trust my luck to have to sit right next to this cute girl with a loud squeaky voice. She was a walking talking Tell Me Why, Tell Me How series. She sat down and all I heard weere questions..'is the plane moving? are we in air? where is the sun? where is the engine? where is the pilot? what is this food? how to do you switch on the light? when will we get there? where is nani? why does the TV not work? how do you play games on the tv?'
OH God!! Oh God!
Is it my Travel karma or kid karma...why is it..that if there is one child on a 350 people plane, a 2000 person train, a 58 person bus. Why is it ? how is it? that if there is one child..it will sit next to me? And nope, never is it the quiet, I-want-to-sleep and I-dont-believe-in-talking (or crying) variety?
Have some mercy on me!!
Every time I travel, and I do travel a lot..I have some child who shall either talk, sing, hum or howl through the journey, its almost as if they have a 'GOTCHA!! You cant escape from me in this train/plane/bus' ARGH!
So heading to India I had this child behind me who was 'so lucky because all these aeroplanes are here today in one place'..and he kept saying that again and again and again...and again. It was Heathrow Airport! Mum ofcourse was not keen to let the child know that it has not much to do with luck..but any place with too many airplanes is called an AIRPORT! After that the child was plain lucky to be able to go to India..also asked when they shall get there about every 20 mins in a 8 hour flight!!
AAARGH!!
Yesterday as I boarded the plane I was relieved to see only 3 children in the boarding lounge..two of those were travelling business class..trust my luck to have to sit right next to this cute girl with a loud squeaky voice. She was a walking talking Tell Me Why, Tell Me How series. She sat down and all I heard weere questions..'is the plane moving? are we in air? where is the sun? where is the engine? where is the pilot? what is this food? how to do you switch on the light? when will we get there? where is nani? why does the TV not work? how do you play games on the tv?'
OH God!! Oh God!
Is it my Travel karma or kid karma...why is it..that if there is one child on a 350 people plane, a 2000 person train, a 58 person bus. Why is it ? how is it? that if there is one child..it will sit next to me? And nope, never is it the quiet, I-want-to-sleep and I-dont-believe-in-talking (or crying) variety?
Have some mercy on me!!
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
Indian Public Toilets
Yes, not too long ago you needed to be desperate to want to use a public toilet in India. You needed to desensitise your nasal tracts and be able to hold your breath to be able to use on of the 'Sulabh Sauchalyas' that dotted Delhi. At some point in time I remember knowing all of them in Connaught Place without visiting them..by the stench that warned you about what lay ahead. There was also a habit developed through childhood by parents to go to the loo before stepping out of the house! A habit that does nothing for you if you are in a traffic jam or in an area that has no restaurants.
And it gets worse if you move to Bombay which works on Maths -> Space = Money. Toilets make none..hence no toilets!!I remember walking through Kalba Devi and also Mohammed Ali Road, in desperation and feeling bad for the tourists who invariably eat road side stuff and then have a tough time!
Well things have changed...a LOT in Delhi. There is a whole spate of manned Public Toilets in Delhi called Mokleen. You can expect sparkling clean interiors, brightly lit and comfortably big. You can also expect clean running water, hand wash, drier as well as toilet paper! Also present is an attendant to charge you Rs 1 or Rs 2 for usage of the facility. There are ceiling fans to keep you cool. Huge skylights to keep the air fresh and well painted exteriors that stop people from using the outside of the building as a loo. The attendants guide you to the Men's or the Ladies as there are no King or Queen tiles for indication. They also give you a big smile if they see you twice in the same day!
The toilets are maintained by Private companies and are well run. I was very impressed by them. No I dont want to sound like a patronising NRI but I do want to sound like one proud Indian, happy to see progress! Its good, its great!
This is what the Hindu had to say about Mokleen's facility.
'The story of the woman who, passing a public toilet complex at night, with all its bright lights and stir of visitors, thought it was a house of worship and directed her children to bow their heads in reverence, seems symbolic. Cleanliness is after all, next to Godliness.'
And it gets worse if you move to Bombay which works on Maths -> Space = Money. Toilets make none..hence no toilets!!I remember walking through Kalba Devi and also Mohammed Ali Road, in desperation and feeling bad for the tourists who invariably eat road side stuff and then have a tough time!
Well things have changed...a LOT in Delhi. There is a whole spate of manned Public Toilets in Delhi called Mokleen. You can expect sparkling clean interiors, brightly lit and comfortably big. You can also expect clean running water, hand wash, drier as well as toilet paper! Also present is an attendant to charge you Rs 1 or Rs 2 for usage of the facility. There are ceiling fans to keep you cool. Huge skylights to keep the air fresh and well painted exteriors that stop people from using the outside of the building as a loo. The attendants guide you to the Men's or the Ladies as there are no King or Queen tiles for indication. They also give you a big smile if they see you twice in the same day!
The toilets are maintained by Private companies and are well run. I was very impressed by them. No I dont want to sound like a patronising NRI but I do want to sound like one proud Indian, happy to see progress! Its good, its great!
This is what the Hindu had to say about Mokleen's facility.
'The story of the woman who, passing a public toilet complex at night, with all its bright lights and stir of visitors, thought it was a house of worship and directed her children to bow their heads in reverence, seems symbolic. Cleanliness is after all, next to Godliness.'
Saturday, July 29, 2006
Home Affairs
OK. Back to one of my pet topics of discussion, mothers and matrimony!
If you are single, and unattached female and that side of 25 then chances are some one has asked you at some point of time if you are married, and if you reply in the negative..a match making conversation starts.
Add to this the fact that you live far away from the Mum that you love to bits but are increasingly finding irritating due to her obsession with matrimony. This later graduates to starting to talk about careers are important but 'not everything', independence is good but there is a need to 'settle down' and eventually to the 'you are female and have a clock that's ticking'.
Heaven forbid if you drink or smoke coz then the mum would be convinced you are beyond redemption and you might just be treated to Ekta Kapoor worthy dramatics of 'I must have done something bad to deserve a child like this' who is selfish beyond comprehension! And will not marry for my or her own happiness.
Not all is lost, coz sometimes the mere mention of someone you are dating is good enough..thats till you have been together for long enough to want to talk to him and preferably also his parents!!
Sometimes mums get astrologer obsessed and that is kind of bad...I mean it sucks, because then some stars tell you that the man you shall live happily ever after is going to come knocking on your door. Bearing in mind..several marriage proposals come together..stars would have to be a BIT more clear than that about the man!
Not all is lost till your dad gets involved too. Senti dialogues from one parent is enough..from two is torture and I am not even getting to the 'settled' siblings you may have. This kind are the worst I think. For the longest time these cousins and brothers and sisters are your best mates, your staunch supporters and nodded in agreement and support for any decision you took. You could confide in them. Post marriage they tend to convert over night into what I call the SMC (Smug Married Couple) who have a mission in life...to get every single person they know married!! They show support but are in most cases mouth pieces for the match making family!! Argh!!
If you are really really unlucky you might just have old friends who are also 'married and settled' and are in touch with your folks..its best to end friendships like that temporarily while you are single.
So you see..being single, independent and female is similar to what they call in physics unstable matter. You cant remain in that state for too long!
You could have it all...a great job, that you love, a house, a car, lovely friends, warm family, no health issues..but life is incomplete without the Mister to look after you..and if you intend holding on to your single status...RUN!!! Run from well meaning mums, SMC and married friends. Avoid attending weddings and such like.
If you do and are pretty sure no amount of pressure shall change your mind..do write on this blog and let me know how you do it :)
If you are single, and unattached female and that side of 25 then chances are some one has asked you at some point of time if you are married, and if you reply in the negative..a match making conversation starts.
Add to this the fact that you live far away from the Mum that you love to bits but are increasingly finding irritating due to her obsession with matrimony. This later graduates to starting to talk about careers are important but 'not everything', independence is good but there is a need to 'settle down' and eventually to the 'you are female and have a clock that's ticking'.
Heaven forbid if you drink or smoke coz then the mum would be convinced you are beyond redemption and you might just be treated to Ekta Kapoor worthy dramatics of 'I must have done something bad to deserve a child like this' who is selfish beyond comprehension! And will not marry for my or her own happiness.
Not all is lost, coz sometimes the mere mention of someone you are dating is good enough..thats till you have been together for long enough to want to talk to him and preferably also his parents!!
Sometimes mums get astrologer obsessed and that is kind of bad...I mean it sucks, because then some stars tell you that the man you shall live happily ever after is going to come knocking on your door. Bearing in mind..several marriage proposals come together..stars would have to be a BIT more clear than that about the man!
Not all is lost till your dad gets involved too. Senti dialogues from one parent is enough..from two is torture and I am not even getting to the 'settled' siblings you may have. This kind are the worst I think. For the longest time these cousins and brothers and sisters are your best mates, your staunch supporters and nodded in agreement and support for any decision you took. You could confide in them. Post marriage they tend to convert over night into what I call the SMC (Smug Married Couple) who have a mission in life...to get every single person they know married!! They show support but are in most cases mouth pieces for the match making family!! Argh!!
If you are really really unlucky you might just have old friends who are also 'married and settled' and are in touch with your folks..its best to end friendships like that temporarily while you are single.
So you see..being single, independent and female is similar to what they call in physics unstable matter. You cant remain in that state for too long!
You could have it all...a great job, that you love, a house, a car, lovely friends, warm family, no health issues..but life is incomplete without the Mister to look after you..and if you intend holding on to your single status...RUN!!! Run from well meaning mums, SMC and married friends. Avoid attending weddings and such like.
If you do and are pretty sure no amount of pressure shall change your mind..do write on this blog and let me know how you do it :)
Cranky Ol' me
Went to Vasant Vihar..in the good old days when I was at Lady Shri Ram, a bunch of us used to 'cut' class and reach this cool place for a quick film, a hot chocolate fudge at Nirulas, a shared Pizza and catch an auto rickshaw back to college. We used to go to what was Priya. There was Benetton, Nirulas, Sugar and Spice, Fact and Fiction, TGIF and ofcourse the Cinema which showed English films that had shows in sync with the most boring hours of lectures at College. Few shops were around..what was obvious in those days was the proximity of MSVV (Modern School, Vasant Vihar. School kids in the blue and gray uniform were visble, being cool or trying their hardest to be..with an air of practiced-a-million-times nonchalance and a smoke in one hand. Hitched up skirts and rolled down socks, slouchy postures and bored with everything body language. Also obvious was the fact that there was nothing to do but eat and watch a film at that complex.
Well those days have gone. There are many new stores and a lot of shopping. A complete lack of parking, which I admit is nothing new to Vasant Vihar. Also a whole range of cigarette shops welcome you into the main arcade, I think I counted about 8 big ones. There are also a lot of pavement stores, selling a whole range of 'ethnic' stuff. Priya is now PVR..with a bigger facade to the building..a very cool looking queuing system, and no privacy for those who want to sneak in for a quick peek at the film or a make out session right in the back aisle.
It made me nostalgic about hot summer days, cold HCFs, Air conditioned Priya cinema and the ever present auto rickshaws that would bargain till eternity to take back college students, desperate to reach in time for the next lecture. Ofcourse traffic was not that bad and we could manage to get back to LSR in half an hour at the most..there were no flyovers then you see!!
Anyhow..I shall stop sounding like a cranky old woman..I am talking about 10 years ago..and let you see a picture of Sleepers you can buy at PVR, Vasant Vihar. Sleepers that are all yours for rs 250 and you can keep them forever.
Well those days have gone. There are many new stores and a lot of shopping. A complete lack of parking, which I admit is nothing new to Vasant Vihar. Also a whole range of cigarette shops welcome you into the main arcade, I think I counted about 8 big ones. There are also a lot of pavement stores, selling a whole range of 'ethnic' stuff. Priya is now PVR..with a bigger facade to the building..a very cool looking queuing system, and no privacy for those who want to sneak in for a quick peek at the film or a make out session right in the back aisle.
It made me nostalgic about hot summer days, cold HCFs, Air conditioned Priya cinema and the ever present auto rickshaws that would bargain till eternity to take back college students, desperate to reach in time for the next lecture. Ofcourse traffic was not that bad and we could manage to get back to LSR in half an hour at the most..there were no flyovers then you see!!
Anyhow..I shall stop sounding like a cranky old woman..I am talking about 10 years ago..and let you see a picture of Sleepers you can buy at PVR, Vasant Vihar. Sleepers that are all yours for rs 250 and you can keep them forever.
Thursday, July 27, 2006
Monkey Business
This morning..I went up to see if there is any chance of yesterdays performance in terms of rain..looked like it! The show started when I switched on the computer!!
I reached the roof, and stood there looking around. As I stared, I felt something was watching me, after yesterdays thinking marathon..I was not quite sure what to expect. A pair of green hazel eyes stared back at me.
A monkey! Sitting cool as you please on my roof, giving me the 'looks' as if I was invading its territory. As usual, you never find lone monkeys, I saw another head peering down at me from the top of the water tank, then another and yet another. Varying in size, but carrying the same VERY bored expression. And last but not the least was a tiny baby one..with grey eyeshadow on and kohl rimmed eyes...it gave me this heart wrenching 'I am only a little monkey' look.
The thing is...I am invading its territory. This part of Delhi where I am living right now was a mass of trees and fields a few years ago, this was monkey habitat. Now the original residents of this place, sit on top of flats and buildings, plucking domestic potted plants, stealing from the kitchens and upending garbage sacks, in search fo food. The human residents moan about these destructive creatures. But as is usual in India...the land of physics, law of physics applies...for everything you find, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Some people encourage these monkeys (either by feeling sorry for them - like me) or by thinking they are incarnations of Hanuman (the monkey God). Hence piles of bananas and cooked rice if to be found in places when you walk around here. Whiel others have resorted to keeping heavy bamboo sticks around them to beat a wandering monkey if it comes too close.
For my part..I sat there, watching and being watched. There was some amount of respect there. We could see each other, I was not threatening them. I did not have anything they wanted. I could not be bothered to be bothered by them. And vice versa applies to all those. So we all sat there, waiting for the rain! Evolution Indeed!
I reached the roof, and stood there looking around. As I stared, I felt something was watching me, after yesterdays thinking marathon..I was not quite sure what to expect. A pair of green hazel eyes stared back at me.
A monkey! Sitting cool as you please on my roof, giving me the 'looks' as if I was invading its territory. As usual, you never find lone monkeys, I saw another head peering down at me from the top of the water tank, then another and yet another. Varying in size, but carrying the same VERY bored expression. And last but not the least was a tiny baby one..with grey eyeshadow on and kohl rimmed eyes...it gave me this heart wrenching 'I am only a little monkey' look.
The thing is...I am invading its territory. This part of Delhi where I am living right now was a mass of trees and fields a few years ago, this was monkey habitat. Now the original residents of this place, sit on top of flats and buildings, plucking domestic potted plants, stealing from the kitchens and upending garbage sacks, in search fo food. The human residents moan about these destructive creatures. But as is usual in India...the land of physics, law of physics applies...for everything you find, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Some people encourage these monkeys (either by feeling sorry for them - like me) or by thinking they are incarnations of Hanuman (the monkey God). Hence piles of bananas and cooked rice if to be found in places when you walk around here. Whiel others have resorted to keeping heavy bamboo sticks around them to beat a wandering monkey if it comes too close.
For my part..I sat there, watching and being watched. There was some amount of respect there. We could see each other, I was not threatening them. I did not have anything they wanted. I could not be bothered to be bothered by them. And vice versa applies to all those. So we all sat there, waiting for the rain! Evolution Indeed!
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Indian Rain
I stood in the Rain today. 10am, thunder clouds had been lining up. It was hot and humid, lightening, big dark clouds lines up. The performance started at 10.15. It poured, big fat raindrops. There was a cloud of water that decended. I sat there, on my roof, drenched. Feeling the cool water, the warm breeze, the scents of Jasmine from the roof garden, mixed with the smells of pollution from the nearby highway.
I sat there and thought about things that I hide into the deeper recesses of my mind. I bring them out to think and ponder when I think I can spend some time, sorting them out...
I thought about things, we all do at some point of time, with varying degrees of success at finding answers:
- Why am I here?
- Do I like being in this time, space and place?
- Am I happy here?
- What makes me happy?
- What would be an ideal case scenario for my life/ perfection?
- What makes me unhappy?
- What can I do about it?
- Have I learnt anything so far?
- Am I using what I have learnt from my life so far and the books I have read?
- Do I know the answers?
- Am I honest with my answers?
- Do I have choices? or do the freedom to make those choices?
- Do I want those choices?
Lots of questions, each has two answers, the straight ones..the kind everyone likes to hear. And the honest ones, that need thinking and discussion. And also one final question...
Am I thinking too much?
I sat there and thought about things that I hide into the deeper recesses of my mind. I bring them out to think and ponder when I think I can spend some time, sorting them out...
I thought about things, we all do at some point of time, with varying degrees of success at finding answers:
- Why am I here?
- Do I like being in this time, space and place?
- Am I happy here?
- What makes me happy?
- What would be an ideal case scenario for my life/ perfection?
- What makes me unhappy?
- What can I do about it?
- Have I learnt anything so far?
- Am I using what I have learnt from my life so far and the books I have read?
- Do I know the answers?
- Am I honest with my answers?
- Do I have choices? or do the freedom to make those choices?
- Do I want those choices?
Lots of questions, each has two answers, the straight ones..the kind everyone likes to hear. And the honest ones, that need thinking and discussion. And also one final question...
Am I thinking too much?
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Gone forever
I came home to India last night.
For the first time in 6 years there was no dog at my door. With love dripping from her eyes, her tailless backside wiggling with delight. Getting slurped and licked till I beg for mercy and then I could sit down and get rid of my bags.
Nothing like that happened yesterday.
The afternoon meal with meat was strange with no one begging with soulful eyes for scraps from my plate (despite having eaten her own food)no one looking out for bones. It was quiet.
In the evening..the walk felt lonely without the dog, no one to drag me from one side of the road to the other, chasing scents, smelling car tyres and every single piece of dirt around.
At night, I did not have to feed her or walk her one last time. I did not have to leave the doors open so she could walk around. I did not have her soft silky head on my pillow..did not share my bed with Tweety last night.
And this morning I was not awoken by enthusiastic licking and short sharp barks indicating yet another day and a glorious morning.
And now..I am sitting on my computer, with no one peering over my shoulder as if she could read what I was writing. Its lonely. And heart breaking.
When I was in UK, I did not let the news sink. Now I am home and have to re-adjust my heart and mind to living without the dog I loved to bits and perhaps more than life itself. Everyone else at home seems to be ok, I feel I did not even get a chance to say goodbye.
For the first time in 6 years there was no dog at my door. With love dripping from her eyes, her tailless backside wiggling with delight. Getting slurped and licked till I beg for mercy and then I could sit down and get rid of my bags.
Nothing like that happened yesterday.
The afternoon meal with meat was strange with no one begging with soulful eyes for scraps from my plate (despite having eaten her own food)no one looking out for bones. It was quiet.
In the evening..the walk felt lonely without the dog, no one to drag me from one side of the road to the other, chasing scents, smelling car tyres and every single piece of dirt around.
At night, I did not have to feed her or walk her one last time. I did not have to leave the doors open so she could walk around. I did not have her soft silky head on my pillow..did not share my bed with Tweety last night.
And this morning I was not awoken by enthusiastic licking and short sharp barks indicating yet another day and a glorious morning.
And now..I am sitting on my computer, with no one peering over my shoulder as if she could read what I was writing. Its lonely. And heart breaking.
When I was in UK, I did not let the news sink. Now I am home and have to re-adjust my heart and mind to living without the dog I loved to bits and perhaps more than life itself. Everyone else at home seems to be ok, I feel I did not even get a chance to say goodbye.
Thursday, July 20, 2006
Happiness
No person is an island but I guess one can try to be (Oh dear!! I sound like the Queen)
One would like to think that all ones happiness can be self generated. And no one can make you unhappy unless you want to be.
Well over the past few days I think I have written sad, low kind of things, because that was the way I was thinking at that time.
So this morning..after finally sleeping (the heat and humidity has kept me awake) I woke up at dawn, watched the sun come out. Made a cup of tea, sat and stared at the swans on the river (below my house) and enjoyed the chilly early morning breeze. I also watched thunder clouds draw up, and turn every perceivable shade of orange, yellow and pink in matter of minutes..and then blessed rain, thunder and lightning..on the dry earth! Everything felt cleansed and green!
It had all gone by the time I was ready to step out to catch my bus (good mood can change the weather I think)..I skipped away to work, thinking smiley thoughts. Off to prison..as usual. It was a good day. No wise cracks from the inmates... nothing!
A few meetings and 6 hours of teaching later...I skipped home. And though I am tired, I am happy.
Thinking of the Chumbawamba lyrics
'I get knocked down
But I get up again
You're never going to keep me down'
I think I shall skip home, and paint!
One would like to think that all ones happiness can be self generated. And no one can make you unhappy unless you want to be.
Well over the past few days I think I have written sad, low kind of things, because that was the way I was thinking at that time.
So this morning..after finally sleeping (the heat and humidity has kept me awake) I woke up at dawn, watched the sun come out. Made a cup of tea, sat and stared at the swans on the river (below my house) and enjoyed the chilly early morning breeze. I also watched thunder clouds draw up, and turn every perceivable shade of orange, yellow and pink in matter of minutes..and then blessed rain, thunder and lightning..on the dry earth! Everything felt cleansed and green!
It had all gone by the time I was ready to step out to catch my bus (good mood can change the weather I think)..I skipped away to work, thinking smiley thoughts. Off to prison..as usual. It was a good day. No wise cracks from the inmates... nothing!
A few meetings and 6 hours of teaching later...I skipped home. And though I am tired, I am happy.
Thinking of the Chumbawamba lyrics
'I get knocked down
But I get up again
You're never going to keep me down'
I think I shall skip home, and paint!
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
English Weather
Yes I know its a boring topic. I also know that it generally rains..and people curse that..but its not been this hot for a long long long time. Temperatures have hit 35 and are rising. The roads are melting
The trains are being cancelled and delayed as train tracks buckle with the heat. The beer is sold out and you cant buy an Air Conditioner or a Fan in the market. They have sold out.
Ladies and Gentlemen..ITS HOT!
Bearing in mind that houses on this part of the planet are designed to keep the heat in and the cold out, means windows and doors are small and placed to avoid drafts and cross ventilation. Which now means that I can warm anything in my house without a flame..its hot enough.
The fact that airconditioning is a concept few people know about or bother to invest in means..its a slow roast in offices and restaurants.
Have consideration also for the fact that at this latitude the sun rise is at 5am and sets at about 9.30pm..with darkness falling at about 10.30..it means sleep is little if any at all. So we have the Sun lord raging across the skies at all times...and its a bit unbearable.
The point of this all. The weather in England always sucks. Either its too hot, or too cold, or too wet, or too windy, too dark, or too bright. Its never perfect. And whoever told you the English summer is gorgeous was lying.
Its hot and its never been this bad ever before!! Perhaps heading to India right now might not a be a bad idea afterall!!
The trains are being cancelled and delayed as train tracks buckle with the heat. The beer is sold out and you cant buy an Air Conditioner or a Fan in the market. They have sold out.
Ladies and Gentlemen..ITS HOT!
Bearing in mind that houses on this part of the planet are designed to keep the heat in and the cold out, means windows and doors are small and placed to avoid drafts and cross ventilation. Which now means that I can warm anything in my house without a flame..its hot enough.
The fact that airconditioning is a concept few people know about or bother to invest in means..its a slow roast in offices and restaurants.
Have consideration also for the fact that at this latitude the sun rise is at 5am and sets at about 9.30pm..with darkness falling at about 10.30..it means sleep is little if any at all. So we have the Sun lord raging across the skies at all times...and its a bit unbearable.
The point of this all. The weather in England always sucks. Either its too hot, or too cold, or too wet, or too windy, too dark, or too bright. Its never perfect. And whoever told you the English summer is gorgeous was lying.
Its hot and its never been this bad ever before!! Perhaps heading to India right now might not a be a bad idea afterall!!
Of Ex-es and such like.
Ever met the kind who keep looking back? Do you know of someone who cant let go? Anyone who thinks that its ok for them to move on but not their ex?
I dont know if its a female male thing or just a personality set up.
Relationships being the way they are, some break up. The break(er) tends to be the first to move away and move on, and in most cases is not keen to look back and see whats up with the one they left behind. The break(ee) is the one who takes time to pick the pieces and take their time to move on. This is a general thing and is not a rule as such. Sometimes both parties move on and never look back.
Sometimes the one (who thinks him/herself) to be the better one turns around out of curiousity to see how the other is doing without them. Hoping, in a tiny corner of their hearts, to see the other being heart broken and unable to cope. To still be carrying a torch for the ex. The problem strikes when one sees the ex being better off and happier without them. Then they think 'hey!! you were never like that when I was around!!' hmph!! Big sulk happens and hopefully they turn around and keep going on with their new lives, put off by what they see to never want to turn around and look at the past again.
Sometimes both parties know it won’t work. And split. Both move on and carry on. Someday fate or destiny, or maybe even the ever shrinking globe makes them cross paths..and they think..I know you..how are you? And that’s it. There is no spark, no resentment, just neutrality and hint of curiosity maybe. But the happiness they might have found in the new relationship is overpowering and erases everything about the chance meeting.
Men I think more than women are able to put things aside. To put them behind and move on. Women are more dog-in-the-manger type. They have what they do (which is a new-er, happy-er relationship or life), but they often don’t want to ex to move on. They are also soppy enough sometimes, even if in a new happy relationship, to want the ex to love them forever. The fact that most women want to always know that 'somewhere in the world there is someone who will always love me' does not help.
Okay before you think..for a female she is pretty lopsided in her thinking. Men can be as bad if hung up about the past. Well this is honesty from my perspective.
This I think should be the normal course - For a long time most people wish all sorts of 'bad' things to happen to the ex. Then neutrality takes over as memories fade. And then everyone knows, a good new relationship brings rose tinted glasses..where you want to world to be happy..as happy as you are..and that includes the ex. And then eventually you forget about it..well honestly I dont know about forgetting, but you don’t think about it anymore..memories fade eventually and so does negativity. And you move on..that's life.
There are few people I know who are keen to keep in touch with the ex-es ..I think they happen to live in Hollywood or act in Friends :) Make believe land.
For everyone else who has a new relationship and a past that’s fading fast. Let it be. Don’t let curiosity lead you!
I dont know if its a female male thing or just a personality set up.
Relationships being the way they are, some break up. The break(er) tends to be the first to move away and move on, and in most cases is not keen to look back and see whats up with the one they left behind. The break(ee) is the one who takes time to pick the pieces and take their time to move on. This is a general thing and is not a rule as such. Sometimes both parties move on and never look back.
Sometimes the one (who thinks him/herself) to be the better one turns around out of curiousity to see how the other is doing without them. Hoping, in a tiny corner of their hearts, to see the other being heart broken and unable to cope. To still be carrying a torch for the ex. The problem strikes when one sees the ex being better off and happier without them. Then they think 'hey!! you were never like that when I was around!!' hmph!! Big sulk happens and hopefully they turn around and keep going on with their new lives, put off by what they see to never want to turn around and look at the past again.
Sometimes both parties know it won’t work. And split. Both move on and carry on. Someday fate or destiny, or maybe even the ever shrinking globe makes them cross paths..and they think..I know you..how are you? And that’s it. There is no spark, no resentment, just neutrality and hint of curiosity maybe. But the happiness they might have found in the new relationship is overpowering and erases everything about the chance meeting.
Men I think more than women are able to put things aside. To put them behind and move on. Women are more dog-in-the-manger type. They have what they do (which is a new-er, happy-er relationship or life), but they often don’t want to ex to move on. They are also soppy enough sometimes, even if in a new happy relationship, to want the ex to love them forever. The fact that most women want to always know that 'somewhere in the world there is someone who will always love me' does not help.
Okay before you think..for a female she is pretty lopsided in her thinking. Men can be as bad if hung up about the past. Well this is honesty from my perspective.
This I think should be the normal course - For a long time most people wish all sorts of 'bad' things to happen to the ex. Then neutrality takes over as memories fade. And then everyone knows, a good new relationship brings rose tinted glasses..where you want to world to be happy..as happy as you are..and that includes the ex. And then eventually you forget about it..well honestly I dont know about forgetting, but you don’t think about it anymore..memories fade eventually and so does negativity. And you move on..that's life.
There are few people I know who are keen to keep in touch with the ex-es ..I think they happen to live in Hollywood or act in Friends :) Make believe land.
For everyone else who has a new relationship and a past that’s fading fast. Let it be. Don’t let curiosity lead you!
Monday, July 17, 2006
Pictures of red.light@amsterdam.nl
OK, photography is not allowed in the red light distrcit of amsterdam. You can take scenic ones but none of the girls or the stores can be shot. Here are some from the area.
Red.Light@Amsterdam.nl
Okay. I did not want to go at 11.30 in the night to see someplace where women sell their bodies to men who have an appetite for more than what they can get elsewhere.
I also did not want to go and see, what is an essential part of the tourist trail in Amsterdam. I did not want to see sleazy corners with scantily clad women. I had visions of Grant Road and Kamathipura in Bombay and NOPE! I did not want to go.
However my friends insisted it’s worth a look, coz it is unlike anything I will ever see. Ok, bearing in mind I had read somewhere that drug related crime and teenage pregnancies are at the lowest in Holland. I thought the information did not compute to making any sort of sense. So I went. Curiosity leading me once more.
Midnight in the Red Light area of Amsterdam and it was crowded, men and women, some seeing the sights, some living near the 'sites', some working, some gaping, some customers, few pick pockets, some observers and ..MANY women workers.
Here is the best way to describe its dimensions:
One long very narrow street..say about 800 metres long. Now build straight blocks of houses on either side of the street, about 3-4 floors each, add a canal (Amsterdam you see) in the middle. Now every block has huge glass windows on all floors. The colours most apparent everywhere is a deep red. In each window is a female, they are all display windows, with lit interiors, carpets, a bed with cushions, curtains and a VERY VERY scantily clad woman in the middle..beckoning, dancing, sitting, or staring. So its basically like a shopping centre/ complex with the only thing on sale being a human / female body. In every window, on every shelf.
Now multiply this with 30 more such streets on a grid, interspersed with canals. Add a few shops selling sex toys, S&M material, gay and lesbian shops, couple of beer joints...and you have the Amsterdam flesh market.
What was unique was the complete lack of sleaze. This is a market like any other, supplying, what is obviously in high demand. Its business, its professional, it is well lit, it’s clean and it promotes safe sex. It’s taxed, licensed and monitored. There is no shabbiness and cloaks and darkness. No shame in seeing other people there. There are groups of stag parties, hen parties, women in small groups. Everything you ever dream, wish or imagine of related to sex is available here. yes it has special zones for men:men, women:women, women:men, men:women:men, women:men:women, every colours of skin, hair and eyes, every size and type. It’s a market that caters to all, with some dignity to their approach to themselves.
This is how it works; you walk around looking at what is on display. You like something you stop and stare at the woman in the window. A bouncer materialises and has a conversation with you. You tell them what you want/ how much you want to pay. He will check with the girl. If she says ok, the window opens, lets you in, she pulls curtains around the window and you are gone for a bit. Curtains open after payment is made and you are out and about.
What I found shocking was the clinically clean professional approach to everything. it was like buying fruits or vegetables, you look, you think, you pay and you have it. As if nothing is wrong with a woman selling her body. The fact that a whole market exists for men and casual physical encounters. A whole market!! Some people would say that no one is forcing these women to selling their bodies, which does imply that they might be doing this out of their own free will. Which woman would want to have 30 different men in one night? Ok there may be exceptions. But this approach annoys me to no end. This is women who can make quick money from selling their bodies. And there are men who should not be in this market at all. I am being holier than thou here, but this is my opinion.
What disturbed me was
- the clothing (or lack of) of the women. I am not a prude but most women made me gape in shock..wearing spaghetti noodle like clothes which you can iron on the back of a 2p coin.
- the approaches to attracting a customer (supply is high. So there is competition). Dancing, beckoning, and writhing, around poles, on beds and on the floor. It looked strange coz the women can hear the music inside the glass window….so it’s like watching a drama without the sound from the outside.
The lanes are so narrow that quite a few times I was staring right into a pair of well made up eyes that looked past me, to the next man, searching for a customer. What touched me was the blank look in the eyes. They had no expression. Yes the eyes had a come hither approach, and so did the body language, but the expression on the face was of world weariness, augury of the old. It was depressing.
I walked out of the market, surprised by the scale of the market (it is never ending) and the unassuming approach to the business. I felt sick thinking about the fact that this is what happens here every night, every month, and every year. This is a constant market, supplying what men demand. It’s shameful that women in a developed country should have to resort to selling their bodies for earning money.
I have a lot of opinions about this, all of which I don’t want to express here.
This ladies and gentlemen is Amsterdam.
I also did not want to go and see, what is an essential part of the tourist trail in Amsterdam. I did not want to see sleazy corners with scantily clad women. I had visions of Grant Road and Kamathipura in Bombay and NOPE! I did not want to go.
However my friends insisted it’s worth a look, coz it is unlike anything I will ever see. Ok, bearing in mind I had read somewhere that drug related crime and teenage pregnancies are at the lowest in Holland. I thought the information did not compute to making any sort of sense. So I went. Curiosity leading me once more.
Midnight in the Red Light area of Amsterdam and it was crowded, men and women, some seeing the sights, some living near the 'sites', some working, some gaping, some customers, few pick pockets, some observers and ..MANY women workers.
Here is the best way to describe its dimensions:
One long very narrow street..say about 800 metres long. Now build straight blocks of houses on either side of the street, about 3-4 floors each, add a canal (Amsterdam you see) in the middle. Now every block has huge glass windows on all floors. The colours most apparent everywhere is a deep red. In each window is a female, they are all display windows, with lit interiors, carpets, a bed with cushions, curtains and a VERY VERY scantily clad woman in the middle..beckoning, dancing, sitting, or staring. So its basically like a shopping centre/ complex with the only thing on sale being a human / female body. In every window, on every shelf.
Now multiply this with 30 more such streets on a grid, interspersed with canals. Add a few shops selling sex toys, S&M material, gay and lesbian shops, couple of beer joints...and you have the Amsterdam flesh market.
What was unique was the complete lack of sleaze. This is a market like any other, supplying, what is obviously in high demand. Its business, its professional, it is well lit, it’s clean and it promotes safe sex. It’s taxed, licensed and monitored. There is no shabbiness and cloaks and darkness. No shame in seeing other people there. There are groups of stag parties, hen parties, women in small groups. Everything you ever dream, wish or imagine of related to sex is available here. yes it has special zones for men:men, women:women, women:men, men:women:men, women:men:women, every colours of skin, hair and eyes, every size and type. It’s a market that caters to all, with some dignity to their approach to themselves.
This is how it works; you walk around looking at what is on display. You like something you stop and stare at the woman in the window. A bouncer materialises and has a conversation with you. You tell them what you want/ how much you want to pay. He will check with the girl. If she says ok, the window opens, lets you in, she pulls curtains around the window and you are gone for a bit. Curtains open after payment is made and you are out and about.
What I found shocking was the clinically clean professional approach to everything. it was like buying fruits or vegetables, you look, you think, you pay and you have it. As if nothing is wrong with a woman selling her body. The fact that a whole market exists for men and casual physical encounters. A whole market!! Some people would say that no one is forcing these women to selling their bodies, which does imply that they might be doing this out of their own free will. Which woman would want to have 30 different men in one night? Ok there may be exceptions. But this approach annoys me to no end. This is women who can make quick money from selling their bodies. And there are men who should not be in this market at all. I am being holier than thou here, but this is my opinion.
What disturbed me was
- the clothing (or lack of) of the women. I am not a prude but most women made me gape in shock..wearing spaghetti noodle like clothes which you can iron on the back of a 2p coin.
- the approaches to attracting a customer (supply is high. So there is competition). Dancing, beckoning, and writhing, around poles, on beds and on the floor. It looked strange coz the women can hear the music inside the glass window….so it’s like watching a drama without the sound from the outside.
The lanes are so narrow that quite a few times I was staring right into a pair of well made up eyes that looked past me, to the next man, searching for a customer. What touched me was the blank look in the eyes. They had no expression. Yes the eyes had a come hither approach, and so did the body language, but the expression on the face was of world weariness, augury of the old. It was depressing.
I walked out of the market, surprised by the scale of the market (it is never ending) and the unassuming approach to the business. I felt sick thinking about the fact that this is what happens here every night, every month, and every year. This is a constant market, supplying what men demand. It’s shameful that women in a developed country should have to resort to selling their bodies for earning money.
I have a lot of opinions about this, all of which I don’t want to express here.
This ladies and gentlemen is Amsterdam.
Feel.
Strings are things people tend to avoid attaching.
Strings are things that irritate some and make them feel..tied.
Strings are things that creep into your life unseen.
Strings are things that can give comfort and security.
And these are stretched by distance.
Distance is something that creates spaces.
Distance is something that makes you reflect.
Distance is something that makes you realise how BIG our planet really is.
Distance is something that makes you want to invent to overcome it.
It creates emptiness.
Emptiness is when you miss someone.
Emptiness is when there is gap in your life where someone was.
Emptiness is when you turn around and someone is not there.
Emptiness is when the phone doest ring as often.
When you realise your true feelings.
Feelings can be transitory or permanent.
Feelings can be strong and positive.
Feelings can be expressed in many ways.
Feeling dont go away with a person leaving.
They remain forever.
And I believe in forever.
I believe strings are necessary for forevers to happen.
I believe that distance is painful and creates big empty spaces.
It makes you see understand and accept your real priorities.
Strings, distance, emptiness. My feelings right now.
Strings are things that irritate some and make them feel..tied.
Strings are things that creep into your life unseen.
Strings are things that can give comfort and security.
And these are stretched by distance.
Distance is something that creates spaces.
Distance is something that makes you reflect.
Distance is something that makes you realise how BIG our planet really is.
Distance is something that makes you want to invent to overcome it.
It creates emptiness.
Emptiness is when you miss someone.
Emptiness is when there is gap in your life where someone was.
Emptiness is when you turn around and someone is not there.
Emptiness is when the phone doest ring as often.
When you realise your true feelings.
Feelings can be transitory or permanent.
Feelings can be strong and positive.
Feelings can be expressed in many ways.
Feeling dont go away with a person leaving.
They remain forever.
And I believe in forever.
I believe strings are necessary for forevers to happen.
I believe that distance is painful and creates big empty spaces.
It makes you see understand and accept your real priorities.
Strings, distance, emptiness. My feelings right now.
Friday, July 14, 2006
Leaving.
This song..always brings a tear to my eye. And right about now it feels appropriate.
All my bags are packed
I'm ready to go
I'm standin here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye
But the dawn is breakin
It's early morn
The taxis waitin
He's blowin his horn
Already I'm so lonesome
I could die
So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
cause Im leavin on a jet plane
Dont know when I'll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go
Theres so many times I've let you down
So many times I've played around
I tell you now, they dont mean a thing
Every place I go, I'll think of you
Every song I sing, I'll sing for you
When I come back, I'll bring your wedding ring
So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
cause I'm leavin on a jet plane
Dont know when I'll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go
Now the time has come to leave you
One more time
Let me kiss you
Then close your eyes
I'll be on my way
Dream about the days to come
When I wont have to leave alone
About the times, I wont have to say
Oh, kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that youll wait for me
Hold me like youll never let me go
cause Im leavin on a jet plane
Dont know when I'll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go
But, I'm leavin on a jet plane
Dont know when I'll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go
Words and music by john denver
All my bags are packed
I'm ready to go
I'm standin here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye
But the dawn is breakin
It's early morn
The taxis waitin
He's blowin his horn
Already I'm so lonesome
I could die
So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
cause Im leavin on a jet plane
Dont know when I'll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go
Theres so many times I've let you down
So many times I've played around
I tell you now, they dont mean a thing
Every place I go, I'll think of you
Every song I sing, I'll sing for you
When I come back, I'll bring your wedding ring
So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
cause I'm leavin on a jet plane
Dont know when I'll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go
Now the time has come to leave you
One more time
Let me kiss you
Then close your eyes
I'll be on my way
Dream about the days to come
When I wont have to leave alone
About the times, I wont have to say
Oh, kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that youll wait for me
Hold me like youll never let me go
cause Im leavin on a jet plane
Dont know when I'll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go
But, I'm leavin on a jet plane
Dont know when I'll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go
Words and music by john denver
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