Time does fly. And its been flying superfast for the past few months or so.
I have done nothing much apart from being mommy and doing my best at that. And that I can tell you is a lot of work.
So..in this time. I have spent the longest time ever in India in the past 11 years..spent a whole 3 months wallowing in the nothingness at home. enjoying afternoon naps with mommy, eating lovely food with MIL and not missing the husband as he kept dropping by..because he 'missed us' though i think he dropped by because he thought he was 'missing out' on something!
Apart from that..i missed out the cold cold snowy part of London..which somehow i wish i had not..i like the cold. the colder, the better for me. I missed new year coming in and going out. I still dont think of Cameron as PM and the CSR in India recently dawned on me. So I am have missed on feeling of elation, surprise, delight, disgust and indignation.
The boy went to India as a cute baby, got the delhi-belly business and came back thinner, longer and now turned into an ape. tail-less monkey indeed. Impossible is nothing. well he gives this cliched line a proper shot. from copying me by trilling, grabbing what he cant/shouldnt etc. and also discovering his yelling voice. ah. that at 3am! go figure!
I have missed not being at work. I have missed the banter at work and the feeling of not being home, so finding returning home...well something to look forward to and something i liked doing. I miss not wearing smart clothes each morning and walking out of the door. I also miss not being able to get out and about on my own. to not be able to talk and call people when i want. I miss the feeling of being one of the commuters on the train to work, with alarm clock woken eyes, damp hair and a newspaper. I have missed out on the news and dont know much about what happens outside the little world of baby and me. Have stopped playing with my iPhone. Just a lot of things have gone. Life has changed into something beyond recognition.
yet. I have the time to read, slow progress and no book gobbling happening..but yes I do read. I like that.
Yet. I have the time to talk my family, quite often. I like that.
I sometimes have the time to speak to my friends who have not abandoned all hope of my reappearing. i like that.
Some family and friends drop by, invite me to meals, to give me a break. I like that.
I escape to watch the odd film, chat till late night over pizza with friends while baby is with his papa. I like that.
Plans on work in kashmir continue to be made. I like that.
Life has changed. Sometimes the degree of the change gets to me and I am desperate for a breather...and I dont always get one. But imagining a life without my smiley bubba with his 1.5 teeth is not possible. I guess the fact that he shall go into a day care centre sometime soon..keeps me sane. Its all fun being around a baby, but its tiring and you do need a break. Lets hope I am not the one who cries more when i drop him off at the nursery.