And yes I have been meaning to post more regularly than before..but I have a problem. And its called Hay fever. I am allergic to tree pollen, it provides me with swollen sinuses, watery itchy eyes and internally fitted taps in my nose that spend the summer in my nose.
I sit surrounded by tissue paper and have flatter abs thanks to the constant sneezing. It also means I cant sleep at night..as cooler air, pollen settles and makes life harder. I watch the Man sleep peacefully..and hate it!
Needless to say anti histamine category of medication is being eaten like its going out of fashion..
Despite suffering from it each summer for the past 9 summers..my mother always thinks it is hay FEVER and asks me how much is it! Every year we have this conversation, and this time I had to ask her if she remembers anything from last year. Ofcourse she did not.
This time the doctor cheerfully told me that the pollen in UK causes a lot more allergies than anywhere else in the world..so Europe etc dont have this prolonged 3 month hay fever season..
So while people frolic in the sun in small dresses, strappy sandals, big sunglasses and ice lollies. I shrink in the shade (dont like direct sunlight), cover up (to prevent myself from burning) and carry wadges of tissue paper, and find it hard to breathe. I do eat the occasional ice lolly..but you see with little sleep, perpetual runny nose and itchy eyes..I am not overjoyed when the sun does come out. I kind of like the rain. I love the rain..
I really do..perhaps I live in the right country then..we get more than enough rain!
Showing posts with label health. Show all posts
Showing posts with label health. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Monday, November 24, 2008
The Stone, the Stent, the Stint and the Surreality
All done, the stone has been ground to a million pieces, the stent has been removed and my stint at the hospital seems to be over. I shall tell you about the surreal though. The shards of the stone have been picked by a cystoscope, and I, ladies and gentlemen have a long lists of firsts added to my life experiences.
So:
~ my first stone
~ my first surgery
~ my first stay in an Indian hospital
~ my first total loss of dignity
~ my first brush with spinal and general anaesthesia
and..what this post is about
~ my first experience of regression..
So, the General Anaesthesia I was given for surgery made me pass out a lot quicker and painlessly than its predecessor which was jabbed into the base of my spine with a long painful metal injection a few days earlier. I was told GA will make my throat sore as they would send in an oxygen pipe to make my lungs work (to keep my heart going). They also told me I would be miserably nauseous and sick when I come around. The first happened the latter did not.
So, up on the operating table, I lie down, I hear the beep of my pulse, the blip of my heart and various machines winking at me, the large light on the ceiling stared back at me, looking a lot more dramatic than it does in movies and TV. They connect me to a whole load of pipes and tubes and then I am asked to look away as they put GA through an IV injection. This time there was no oxygen mask, which I had when I got the spinal Anaesthetic for the previous op. So I soon drift off, the last thing I remember seeing or feeling was the cold injection and the sharp pain of it filling my arm. and then nothing.
Nothing.
I cant say I was awake, and I know I was not physically awake. But very gently I felt my own presence in a silent space, silence so sharp it was obvious. Hard to describe, it was like being in a silent white room, except that white was not a colour but a light, a light so blindingly white, clean, clear and silent and a room or space which had no identifiable boundaries or edges. I did not see myself, its like my brain was in this space of nothingness. Absolute silence..and then a thought.
A mere brush of a thought, followed by a pattern of silent thoughts, slithering into this space, following each other, asking questions, answering themselves..there was no me, just thoughts and white light and silence. Thoughts, not in my voice, just there. We think in our own voices and thoughts have accents too..but this was not so....here is what came into my mind..in the order I can remember it in. It was not this unclear, and there was no sound. Almost as if I could feel my thoughts and not think them. Hard to describe.
...I can think.
..how can I think..
..where is my body..
..under sedation..
The Mind is beyond sedation..
..what about the body..
disdain at the body which succumbs to chemicals
...thoughts are beyond chemical sedation..
why am i thinking..
is this hallucination..
..no..
..i am clearly thinking..
..clear thoughts..
..will i remember this..
..yes..but only for a bit..
this place is very quiet and peaceful..
..very quiet..
..very eerie..
..am i afraid..
..no i am just wondering where the thoughts are coming from
..no wondering where I am..
..why..
...have been in this space before..i know it...
..will i remember this..
..yes but only parts..
...there are people outside this white space..
..yes..
..they can see me, hear me..
why cant i hear them or see them..
..oh my eyes are still closed..
..so am in imagining this white space..
..yes..silence...whiteness..no i am here its not imaginary..
..now someone will call my name..
And there it was, the doctor said instantly 'Can you hear me? are you ok? nod..' and I did. Like my mind could read minds and actions of others before they occur.
The thinking inside my head stopped..slowly..I could not open my eyes for a long time and I could not talk, even though I wanted to, I could hear my mother, my sister whisper, I could hear the nursing staff tell me, we are moving you to your bed now. My mum asking the surgeon if I am awake? when I will come around? If the operation was successful. I could feel them around me, touching my hand, whispering. I could not respond. It was as if I was in a coma. It was weird.
The thoughts in my head faded, but that feeling I had..of being in such a clear, quiet, white place, where the silence and peace were tangibly sharp was strange. It spooked me when I recounted it to my family and friends later and even now as I write I have goose bumps.
It is hard to describe.
So:
~ my first stone
~ my first surgery
~ my first stay in an Indian hospital
~ my first total loss of dignity
~ my first brush with spinal and general anaesthesia
and..what this post is about
~ my first experience of regression..
So, the General Anaesthesia I was given for surgery made me pass out a lot quicker and painlessly than its predecessor which was jabbed into the base of my spine with a long painful metal injection a few days earlier. I was told GA will make my throat sore as they would send in an oxygen pipe to make my lungs work (to keep my heart going). They also told me I would be miserably nauseous and sick when I come around. The first happened the latter did not.
So, up on the operating table, I lie down, I hear the beep of my pulse, the blip of my heart and various machines winking at me, the large light on the ceiling stared back at me, looking a lot more dramatic than it does in movies and TV. They connect me to a whole load of pipes and tubes and then I am asked to look away as they put GA through an IV injection. This time there was no oxygen mask, which I had when I got the spinal Anaesthetic for the previous op. So I soon drift off, the last thing I remember seeing or feeling was the cold injection and the sharp pain of it filling my arm. and then nothing.
Nothing.
I cant say I was awake, and I know I was not physically awake. But very gently I felt my own presence in a silent space, silence so sharp it was obvious. Hard to describe, it was like being in a silent white room, except that white was not a colour but a light, a light so blindingly white, clean, clear and silent and a room or space which had no identifiable boundaries or edges. I did not see myself, its like my brain was in this space of nothingness. Absolute silence..and then a thought.
A mere brush of a thought, followed by a pattern of silent thoughts, slithering into this space, following each other, asking questions, answering themselves..there was no me, just thoughts and white light and silence. Thoughts, not in my voice, just there. We think in our own voices and thoughts have accents too..but this was not so....here is what came into my mind..in the order I can remember it in. It was not this unclear, and there was no sound. Almost as if I could feel my thoughts and not think them. Hard to describe.
...I can think.
..how can I think..
..where is my body..
..under sedation..
The Mind is beyond sedation..
..what about the body..
disdain at the body which succumbs to chemicals
...thoughts are beyond chemical sedation..
why am i thinking..
is this hallucination..
..no..
..i am clearly thinking..
..clear thoughts..
..will i remember this..
..yes..but only for a bit..
this place is very quiet and peaceful..
..very quiet..
..very eerie..
..am i afraid..
..no i am just wondering where the thoughts are coming from
..no wondering where I am..
..why..
...have been in this space before..i know it...
..will i remember this..
..yes but only parts..
...there are people outside this white space..
..yes..
..they can see me, hear me..
why cant i hear them or see them..
..oh my eyes are still closed..
..so am in imagining this white space..
..yes..silence...whiteness..no i am here its not imaginary..
..now someone will call my name..
And there it was, the doctor said instantly 'Can you hear me? are you ok? nod..' and I did. Like my mind could read minds and actions of others before they occur.
The thinking inside my head stopped..slowly..I could not open my eyes for a long time and I could not talk, even though I wanted to, I could hear my mother, my sister whisper, I could hear the nursing staff tell me, we are moving you to your bed now. My mum asking the surgeon if I am awake? when I will come around? If the operation was successful. I could feel them around me, touching my hand, whispering. I could not respond. It was as if I was in a coma. It was weird.
The thoughts in my head faded, but that feeling I had..of being in such a clear, quiet, white place, where the silence and peace were tangibly sharp was strange. It spooked me when I recounted it to my family and friends later and even now as I write I have goose bumps.
It is hard to describe.
Monday, November 10, 2008
More surgery...
yes I was stoned and last week I did think it was all over and tonight the stent shall be removed and I shall be fine. Well not so easy say the Gods from above.
A bit of the stone chose the hide behind the stent and caused major pain, its still in there, so tomorrow I head for the oxygen pipe, the anaesthesia and the surgeon who shall get the stone out, watch me in hospital and then hopefully send me home completely cured.
A month has gone by in a haze of pain, a long haul flight in pain and I am still in India aiming at being completely cured.
Luck, stars, God, previous birth, bad Karma..dont know what it is, but sure is sticking around for way too long.
A bit of the stone chose the hide behind the stent and caused major pain, its still in there, so tomorrow I head for the oxygen pipe, the anaesthesia and the surgeon who shall get the stone out, watch me in hospital and then hopefully send me home completely cured.
A month has gone by in a haze of pain, a long haul flight in pain and I am still in India aiming at being completely cured.
Luck, stars, God, previous birth, bad Karma..dont know what it is, but sure is sticking around for way too long.
Friday, November 07, 2008
Update
Just to bring the weirdness in my life to a brand new level. The last post told you about the fact that I have 3 kidneys..double on the left etc..turns out I have four. Yup Duplex Systems on left and right side!They did not bother to check the other side in London.
Have had a painful time so far in India as a medical tourist. With Spinal Anaesthesia and stents and IV medication and hospital stays.
Shall bounce back shortly.
Have had a painful time so far in India as a medical tourist. With Spinal Anaesthesia and stents and IV medication and hospital stays.
Shall bounce back shortly.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Fitness Fetish Strikes
Yes, I am moving towards the wrong side of the wrong age. And the years of messing about with my body with just about anything going means that I am not in the best on health. Not saying that I am ill...but to put it mildly..I could do with some weight loss..Couldnt we all? Who said you can never be thin or rich enough...well whoever it was, was Right!!
So off we go to the local gym. Sign up for -power pack!, 5 point health check! Yes! we have a steam room! Yes! we have a sauna! Yes! we have over so many machines, Yes free weights, Yes! we have a women's only gym, Yes! we can do a GREAT offer right now, if you sign up for 12 months!! even better if you can drag a friend in and make them sign. And we only cost about 40£ a month...tch tch...dont want to spend that 'little' on your own health I hear you say? Oh
So after being harassed by this Duracell Bunny sales guy at the health club, the deed was done. Now I am committed to going to the gym for my health, and also out of spite..now that I have paid..I shall go! Therein lies the motivation.
So last night was the first time I went back to a gym after a year or so. Needless to say..perfectly tones abs, bums and tums were visible in every corner, and the center as well. Extremely fit people prance around the place..looking...extremely fit not to mention..VERRY BUSY..City-of-London-eat-your-heart-out busy.....its important work..this. The gym is not for the out of shape, ex smoker, love my drink type of person. Oh no. Its all about Lycra, shiny white towels, the energy drink, and Of course..the Ipod strapped to your upper arm!!
And thats not where the cringing ends. Oh no..you wait till you enter the changing rooms. Flashing aint illegal here...oh no sir! You are supposed to strut like the day you were born and not worry about it. Nakedness aside..I have male friends who fantasize about the female changing rooms..but I am not going there..Ahem! Nope!! I am going beyond the showered and changed bits..its the makeup. Oh yes, you need to flick your hair..blast it with the dryer, put on three types of cream, 2 kinds of deo, 1 perfume, six layers of makeup...including blusher to give you the freshly washed, exercise flushed, pink face.., high heels..and then off you go..at 9pm on a weekday..back home. Only to return the next day!! I must say...all I did was shake my head, apply some moisturizer and get out! I hate changing rooms :)
So off we go to the local gym. Sign up for -power pack!, 5 point health check! Yes! we have a steam room! Yes! we have a sauna! Yes! we have over so many machines, Yes free weights, Yes! we have a women's only gym, Yes! we can do a GREAT offer right now, if you sign up for 12 months!! even better if you can drag a friend in and make them sign. And we only cost about 40£ a month...tch tch...dont want to spend that 'little' on your own health I hear you say? Oh
So after being harassed by this Duracell Bunny sales guy at the health club, the deed was done. Now I am committed to going to the gym for my health, and also out of spite..now that I have paid..I shall go! Therein lies the motivation.
So last night was the first time I went back to a gym after a year or so. Needless to say..perfectly tones abs, bums and tums were visible in every corner, and the center as well. Extremely fit people prance around the place..looking...extremely fit not to mention..VERRY BUSY..City-of-London-eat-your-heart-out busy.....its important work..this. The gym is not for the out of shape, ex smoker, love my drink type of person. Oh no. Its all about Lycra, shiny white towels, the energy drink, and Of course..the Ipod strapped to your upper arm!!
And thats not where the cringing ends. Oh no..you wait till you enter the changing rooms. Flashing aint illegal here...oh no sir! You are supposed to strut like the day you were born and not worry about it. Nakedness aside..I have male friends who fantasize about the female changing rooms..but I am not going there..Ahem! Nope!! I am going beyond the showered and changed bits..its the makeup. Oh yes, you need to flick your hair..blast it with the dryer, put on three types of cream, 2 kinds of deo, 1 perfume, six layers of makeup...including blusher to give you the freshly washed, exercise flushed, pink face.., high heels..and then off you go..at 9pm on a weekday..back home. Only to return the next day!! I must say...all I did was shake my head, apply some moisturizer and get out! I hate changing rooms :)
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