Thursday, September 16, 2010

I do?

And when the clock is ticking and society looks at you and shakes their collective heads in a combination of sadness and sympathy. When that piece of paper by the court - called a marriage certificate becomes all important, do you then say I do?

How important is it really to get married? I am not talking about being single or not, I am talking pure facts - marriage - the whole hog of the Indian style one or the paper version in court, either way - is it important being married?

If your significant other is not married to you, does this mean that they are not as committed to you as they would be if you were married? Does being married really provide any guarantees about the longevity of a relationship? Surely rising divorce rates answer that last question. Does it contribute to the happiness of a relationship at any point?

But does being married really give your relationship a dignity it can only get through societal approval of living together not-in-sin status? How important is it really for any children you might want to have to be married to their parent? Yet again, that all important society and how it would accept/ or not a child born out of wedlock..matters, or does it? Does this really mean that you marry only to procreate? What if you wanted no children at all, and yes that is an option, would you then find marriage all that necessary?

What about parental approval - is that a good enough reason to marry, so your folks can feel that you are now 'settled'? I still do not quite know what that term encompasses.

Is not the institution over subscribed and over rated?

Could you not just live in peace together, without the pressure of society..which always disapproves anyway?


Shaunak said...

While I agree that marriage and commitment don't necessarily have a causal link, there is significant correlation there.

I agree that two people can live in peace together, without the pressure of society if the relationship is balanced; on the other hand, if one person dominates, uses and abuses the other, safeguards are needed.

I believe the institution of marriage is intended to provide those safeguards. Doesn't make it indispensable in every circumstance; just in most.

Morpheus said...

Domination, use, abuse exists in many marriages too. Marriage does not provide safeguards of any kind - it might initially act as a deterrent only due to involvement of 'family' in most cases.

Shaunak said...

Exactly! The act of marrying usually involves the family, thus providing, in some cases, a modicum of protection to the abused and, in some other cases, a huge helping of abuse.

It is probably becoming redundant as the law recognises and afford the same rights to other forms of cohabitation.

Tutu said...

Hi Morpheus,
Its my first time on your blog - just wanted to say i like your writing style!

ani_aset said...

you are asking some tough questions here :)