Wednesday, March 14, 2007

And when they are wrong...

Parents.
Owe them your life and your existence, owe them a lot for making you into who you are today. They always have your best interests at heart and would never do anything that would harm you or make you unhappy. Right?
Right?

You might agree..but ther are times when they know only so much and no more. Where your knowledge about something is better than theirs. Where you need advice but they are not the best people to give it. Our myth / belief/ faith that a parent will always know the right thing to do is shattered. But they are human too. So you need to go elsewhere to get advice..but thats ok.

But what do you do when they are wrong? Or you dont agree with them? When they suggest something that you really dont want to do. What do you do then? Argue with them? Convince them? Try and show them your point of view? What if they still dont agree. Worse they use their worst and most effective tool for applying pressure - Emotional Blackmail? What then?
Do you give up and give in and then do something you really dont agree with?

What if this has an impact on the rest of your life? What if it is a battle of wills? What if you know you shall be unhappy for a long time if you DO listen to them? Is it okay to doubt them and then not do as you have been told? You have listened and obeyed all your life but this once when you dont agree..you are put in a corner and told that you have been a disappointment. It might not feel too good.

I just wonder if there is a middle path with parents. There is bound to be a point when you dont agree with them, and cant convince them. They are bound to be wrong at some point. Where is the line between respect for them but the freedom and independence to do something else..without offending them and bringing along a whole course of tears and accusations and wails about 'useless children with no respect' and 'wasted time, energy and effort not to mention money' that has been ruined on this 'useless shameful' child.

Is there a middle path? Does reverse emotional blackmail then become a right choice?
I dont know!

3 comments:

Deepak said...

Do let me know when you find the answer for this. Even I'm confused.

I generally try to argue first, then convince them, then try to reason. But mostly I have to give in.

But another question is whether you are sure that you're right and they are wrong?

Morpheus said...

I dont know the answers. I listen when I want to and dont when I dont agree. No moral bindings here.

Upasna said...

I think they use 'emotional blackmail' as a tool! And it feels horrid...I wish they could see our side of the story too, and yes I guess i follow Deepak's way too!