Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Teachings of an 80 yr old Aunt to a soon-to-be-married neice

This is between an 80 year of Aunt of mine and me a couple of days before the wedding...

80yr old Aunt - So now that you are marrying, always remember two things.
Me - What are those?
80yr old Aunt - In our times, we were not asked what we want and what we think and all that, but you are educated, have been on your own, lived abroad and have been working, so you have learnt a lot from being around a bit. The fact that you are This old also helps in a way....
Me - Do I hear a 'but' there?
80yr old Aunt - I suppose yes, I think you should remember two things, which will ensure happiness and peace in your house. The idea is to keep him happy, if he is happy, he will make you happy, and thats the whole point of being married.
Me - and those two things are?..??...
80yr old Aunt - Always remember he is smarter than you, he is older (yes he is by 3 days) and thus wiser, he is the man and needs to be in control, dont show him you know better, dont prove it either by doing it right. Let him think he has taught you all you know and follow him. So the first point is understanding who is the boss, and that the boss is always right.
The other thing to remember is, he might say things you dont like, always remember to keep quiet. God gave you a sharp tongue but also the 32 teeth in front of it, to keep it in control. If he says nasty things, keep quiet. Dont talk back and dont ever fight.

Needless to say this was going to be one long lecture. I shall not bore you with the details. However the bottomline thought was, if he did want to marry someone who does not have brains, the ability to use the brain, and communicate via using the tongue...he would not have gone for me. If I am to listen to this wisdom, I should change my name to 'COW'...

Me - But if there is something to disagree about, dont you think i should speak up, gently but let my thoughts come out and then he will know what makes me happy and unhappy.
80yr old Aunt - He would know na. He does not want to make you unhappy anyways. So he will figure it out. Just remember he wants the best for you, he looks like a wise man and he will make you happy, you just need to keep quiet.

And then came the Pearls...
80yr old Aunt - Men like to think they are smart and they are the boss, we all know who rules the house anyways and its not them. Just dont go around publishing the fact in the papers, do what you want quietly and get your way without discussions. By displaying no ability to think, you will fool him into thinking you dont have a brain, so when you do something smart occasionally, he will listen to you and appreciate you. Men are NOT smart..just remember to not let them know that you know this.

Me - (thinking quitely) does she know she is a type of feminist, should I enlighten her or apply her teachings and keep quiet?

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