The matter right now is the fact that I have to write a thesis..and not just a thesis..I have to write a good thesis. From the looks of it, all the people who started research with me have quit! So I am the lone ranger working away on a thesis that is like never ending!
I did not think it would be this difficult to write! Did not know my 'academic' english is not as good as my spoken english! I think we researchers think in one language and write in another! Jargon it is!
So thats the matter, I have to write and I am writing.
The mind however is not in the work. I am busy thinking about people, places, things I want to do, things I have to do, things I should do and things I could do. As I write I think of alternate futures, paralell worlds I could have been in, turned right where I turned left, stopped when I kept going..and I wonder where I would have been. Though I like where I am now, I wonder if the past years of my existence would have shaped up differently if I had..done things differently..
Now I am stuck with a PhD I want to do but dont feel like it
I am stuck living this crazy life I like, but I am getting a bit sick of its pace..
And I have started moaning too much!