Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Of Ex-es and such like.

Ever met the kind who keep looking back? Do you know of someone who cant let go? Anyone who thinks that its ok for them to move on but not their ex?

I dont know if its a female male thing or just a personality set up.
Relationships being the way they are, some break up. The break(er) tends to be the first to move away and move on, and in most cases is not keen to look back and see whats up with the one they left behind. The break(ee) is the one who takes time to pick the pieces and take their time to move on. This is a general thing and is not a rule as such. Sometimes both parties move on and never look back.

Sometimes the one (who thinks him/herself) to be the better one turns around out of curiousity to see how the other is doing without them. Hoping, in a tiny corner of their hearts, to see the other being heart broken and unable to cope. To still be carrying a torch for the ex. The problem strikes when one sees the ex being better off and happier without them. Then they think 'hey!! you were never like that when I was around!!' hmph!! Big sulk happens and hopefully they turn around and keep going on with their new lives, put off by what they see to never want to turn around and look at the past again.

Sometimes both parties know it won’t work. And split. Both move on and carry on. Someday fate or destiny, or maybe even the ever shrinking globe makes them cross paths..and they think..I know are you? And that’s it. There is no spark, no resentment, just neutrality and hint of curiosity maybe. But the happiness they might have found in the new relationship is overpowering and erases everything about the chance meeting.

Men I think more than women are able to put things aside. To put them behind and move on. Women are more dog-in-the-manger type. They have what they do (which is a new-er, happy-er relationship or life), but they often don’t want to ex to move on. They are also soppy enough sometimes, even if in a new happy relationship, to want the ex to love them forever. The fact that most women want to always know that 'somewhere in the world there is someone who will always love me' does not help.

Okay before you think..for a female she is pretty lopsided in her thinking. Men can be as bad if hung up about the past. Well this is honesty from my perspective.

This I think should be the normal course - For a long time most people wish all sorts of 'bad' things to happen to the ex. Then neutrality takes over as memories fade. And then everyone knows, a good new relationship brings rose tinted glasses..where you want to world to be happy as you are..and that includes the ex. And then eventually you forget about it..well honestly I dont know about forgetting, but you don’t think about it anymore..memories fade eventually and so does negativity. And you move on..that's life.

There are few people I know who are keen to keep in touch with the ex-es ..I think they happen to live in Hollywood or act in Friends :) Make believe land.

For everyone else who has a new relationship and a past that’s fading fast. Let it be. Don’t let curiosity lead you!

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