A close friend is getting married soon. She mentioned having what she insisted on calling 'thoughts' which I assumed were cold feet. Bearing in mind I have known her for a good number of years, I was not surprised to hear her thinking aloud. She expressed doubts and fears. The wedding is in 10 weeks time..and the plans are being made as we speak, or as I write...
Marrying someone is a BIG decision, but the person (who you are marrying) per se is the most important decision. And how would you ever know what and how it will be like in 20 years time for example. It, marriage, is almost like a gamble, you put all your hopes, expectations and as well as your heart as well in it and cross your fingers!!
I was asked some questions which I found intriguing..
1. How do I know if he is 'the one'?
2. How do I know we shall get along and not come to a parting of ways?
3. How can I for see what he will be like in 10 years time?
4. His parents sound nice but will they be like this always or is this for show?
5. Can I spend the rest of my life with this one person, knowing that there shall never be another?
6. What happens if I find someone much nicer and better in every possible way than the one I am marrying?
7. We do think alike, but there is only so much I know about him, what if we disagree?
8. Will he change after we get married?
9. What if he falls 'out of love' with me?
10. What if after a while I am not happy/ satisfied with him? What if I and what I need change?
I was unable to answer her questions. Some I think were basic questions which are common to all of us, but I think most answers we get as we get to know the person better. Life is not alwaya fair and you cant always get what you want, but you should atleast know what you want!
All I did say to her was, no one is perfect and you will find flaws in everyone, its up to you to see what is important to you and find it. Its never to late to walk before a wedding, but cutting it fine is not right, but then again marrying and splitting because you did not think it through is not right either. Figure out now will he be a frog and you dont mind that or will he be the Prince?