Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Dont like Women!

So far this blog has had some feminist thoughts and a lot of male bashing..I am not changing my opinion about men (which I shall probably air at length later) but I am talking about the women.

As of now I can think of 4 types...

The Practical one - She is smart enough to catch on to jokes and innuendos of all sorts. She is educated and confident. Quick enough to put you back in your place should you grow bigger than the proverbial boots. Calm enough to know how to handle people and situations. Down to earth and sometimes gets counted as one of the guys. When she messes up there are big tears and then she bounces straight out. She is a great friend but is rarely the first to come to mind when you want a date. In case of attraction you would think twice before suggesting a relationship - she might just laugh aloud at the very thought.

Applicable names (could be used to call her or she uses to call her friends) : friend, mate, pal and preferably the proper name without short forms
Non Applicable names : babe, babes, baby, sugar, sweetie
Type: Likeable. Rarely found without much hunting.

The Smart but not really - She thinks she is smart but she is not really. She is under confident and hence bitchy about every female in sight. She is competitive when faced with any other female and thus comes across as false. On her own without male attention she might be a sweet person. She is dressed right to be 'cool' , fashion victim at its best. She likes to be seen at the right places with the right people. She is a perfect scape goat for smart ass type men who shall pull her leg and she will not even know it. Not straight forward due constant agendas on her mind. Constant hair flicking over shoulders is a give away for this type.

Applicable names (could be used to call her or she uses to call her friends): short versions like Archana - archie, Vandana to Vandz, Jasmine to Jaz, as well, woman, or a male pet name like Chuck, Tony etc. Also Darling, sweetheart.
Non Applicable names: kiddo, kid, dear, sugarplum and sweetums
Type. Hard to like. Found everywhere, probably one sitting right next to you right now!

The Cute but dumb type - very sweet, very pretty, dressed well or probably baby doll style. Does not know her own name after a long sleep. No debates or pretences about being a bit slow. Straight forward and honest however. Easy to be with apart from the habit of stopping, reversing and peering into every reflective surface to check make up is still in place, also picking bits out of nails.

Applicable names(could be used to call her or she uses to call her friends): sweetie, honey, darling
Non applicable names: her own name, the proper names of people (tough to remember)
Type. Like-able but not someone you can fall back on. Readily found at all locations.

The helpless hapless variety -cant do anything right, 'silly me' phrase commonly used. Rarely found in female company. Good arm candy. She looks good and needs a strong smart man to 'take care' of her. She is smart inside but is the kind who uses lash fluttering to get things done. Does nothing much coz her nails might get damaged. Fashion victim at her best, but sometimes a steely personality can be found underneath. Makes a perfect date but not really in the long run. Low boredom threshold. Giggles a lot with lot of head shaking to setlle her hair into place. Low cleavages are commonl;y visible here.
Applicable names(could be used to call her or she uses to call her friends): HIYA and air kissing. Honey, babes, babe, baby, bunny, sweetie
Non applicable names: Never her own name or woman or smarty.
Type. Tough to like, even tougher to accept. Commonly found in elevators, restaurants, long queues, offices where paperwork is needed, also on the road with flat tyres.

7 comments:

Maja said...

Too bad we can't be smart, have fashionsense AND know how to fix a computer at the same time, huh? Oh, wait.. ;)

Why put people in boxes like that? It makes me gag, honestly. I know people who would fall under all your four categories, but there's also always more to them than that.

Morpheus said...

I think the smart who are fashionable and can fix a computer without fainting go in to category 1. They are just not fashion victims!
I agree with having people who fit into all 4. I just have had the misfortune to meet type 2 and 4 over and over again all day today! Hence the boxing!

Soulmate said...

Even I also found out about a woman who I think will fit in category 2 and was pretty upset with her behaviour.
But I guess there can be categories apart from the ones mentioned.

Morpheus said...

You are welcome to add your categories to this list!!
Cat 2...ai hai!sadness!!

mar00ned said...

Ha ha ha ha ...
This categorisation of woman-ity makes me laugh, especially because it is coming from a self-proclaimed staunch feminist.
I dont believe in discrimination. All women are dear to me :-D

Morpheus said...

Feminism is sometimes difficult to explain. This being a sometime moment :)

mar00ned said...

Unfortunately sometimes = always as far as Feminism is concerned. I have met ladies yelling their guts about how men and women are equal.However when it comes to exercising that equality, all I get to hear is : ( in a very sarcastic tone ) chivalry is dead