Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Being Female

I have just read some bogs about female molested and harassment that plagues Indian society..Let me be politically correct and say it was written with Bombay in mind..
Read this.. Irrespective of age and gender, I can assure you, you will feel something..
http://knownturf.blogspot.com/2006/03/streets-stories-strategies

I was just reminded after a long time of living in the British Society where I feel relatively safe what it is like to be female. I do walk around on my own, go for early morning sun rise gazing and come back from the gym at 10.30pm, walking on my own. I also go out for the occasional drink with my friends and come back on my own. I was reminded sharply of what it was like to be in Delhi and be female. This is not a comparison of UK Vs India..Maybe it is at some level.

The main point being, Annie has just written what all females have gone through at some point of time or the other. Some person grasping my behind as I get off a bus, someone reaching for my breasts while I look at something, some one touching my hand apparently by mistake...all signs of a lecherous society. I am not a violent person but the only time I have actually hit anyone, with the intent of hurting was in a bus in India. Coming back from college I was in a bus, thinking nice 17yr old thoughts. Perhaps wearing a sleeveless collared shirt with trousers was the crime...this man decides to feel up my entire arm and push his hand into my shirt from behind..it was for the nth time that I had been harassed in this way..I lost it. A punch kind of slap (coz the anger makes you curl your hands and you have never ever hit anyone) was delivered across his face..my hand hurt for weeks. I reached home and had a bath for a long long long time..all the time crying hot tears of anger. I hit someone, but I can honestly say, if I did have a gun, I would happily shot the man. It was horrid. I still remember it clearly.

What I dont get is why we are asked to forget it, to not go out alone, to not wear what we please...there is a long list of nots. Why cant men keep their hands to themselves, it might save a lot of us a lot of hurt.

What I was talking about earlier was that in UK, I have rarely come across this. The odd drunk person might attempt at feeling you up, but they dont really do such things. I have not come across it outside pubs and clubs where you are already quite aware of your surroundings, perhaps wearing a tonne of clothes to keep the cold out helps, perhaps easily available female options who perceive molestation as complementary help. I dont know about respect for women, what I do know is they might be more forward here in demanding equality, what I also know is they stand by you and with you and shout along and possibly punch anyone who comes near you with a negative intent...I dont claim to love UK, but I do think I feel much safer here as a female.

but maybe its not that. A colleague of mine who is blonde, blue eyed and attractive works in India as a researcher, she finds that Indian men do not understand the word NO. They assume that any female at the receiving end of their attention should either stay shut and take it politely or walk away. However she has no reason to complain, coz she is female and come on a Guy will be a Guy..

Perhaps I am not making sense. Perhaps I am just too annoyed just thinking about it. I have just been jolted back to memories of why-oh-why thoughts, of innumerable baths to wash off the feel of groping hands, the memories of walking with a scowl and being a defensive prickly female. I am just dejavued.

7 comments:

mar00ned said...

[Off the topic] : What are "Nice 17yr old thoughts" ? :-p ?

Morpheus said...

[off the topic] about a play we were doing for an Inter College Competition

SpaceMonkey said...

LOL @ Marooned!! Glad to know you haven't changed. ;)

Morpheus - "I would happily shot the man"? Whoa lady. You're beginning to scare me.

Anonymous said...

I think you do make sense, Morpheus. I can easily relate to what you were trying to say. I myself have gone through that horrid experience of travelling in DTC and being harrassed by a man. Felt like killing that man!!!!

Morpheus said...

i scared myself with my surge of violent feeling, watching fighting in a film i figured is very different from getting in there and pulling punches, If i could have hit him harder i would have...but I am sure I would not attack a random male on the streets. I am a feminist but not the 'all men should be shot' variety.
Sympathy to you anon. for your travelling experience...all men that ever tease should be kicked ..I shall not elaborate hence space monkey gets scared...but we SHOULD do something about these men that get away with this kind of behaviour.

Anna said...

everytime... you feel like having a bath...
everytime... you feel like something more should have been done...
everytime... you remember what, when, where, how...
everytime... you remember what you were wearing... what you were thinking...
everytime... it hurts you so bad...
everytime... another scar...

nice blog...

Morpheus said...

It is Anna, It is.
Only try not letting it get to me everytime..